Category Archives: Uncategorized

Reality has a sick sense of humour…

I had a dream last night that I was hallucinating; or maybe I was hallucinating that I was having a dream. It’s hard to tell what is really the case but the first option sounds better so I’ll stick with … Continue reading

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First lusts

I suppose it says a lot about me that my first crush wasn’t the bohemian art teacher with the pendulous and unfettered breasts or even Sam Fox or any of the other early eighties top shelf totty. Don’t get me … Continue reading

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Ode to the follicly challenged

Each morning I’m reminded, We baldies have a sartorial edge, Hair free and care free, But for the odd spray of pledge, You may point you may laugh, With your curly long locks, At my shiny bald pate, Teamed with … Continue reading

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Lurve…

There’s that look that you want to punch. Equal parts smugness and doe eyed dreaminess topped off with a healthy dash of self satisfaction. The trouble is, it’s gazing back at you from the mirror. You always swore to yourself … Continue reading

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Not my favourite poem…

Having just read “26” I feel like I’ve had an aesthetic experience roughly akin to being happy slapped with a kipper while having my underwear filled with live hermit crabs. I sit down slightly shakily, torn between contacting trading standards … Continue reading

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Visitors…

Space invaders want our women! Saucer-men abduct farmer’s cattle! Really I don’t know where to begin. Firstly all you primates look alike to us; we wouldn’t know which your women are even if we did want them. And as for … Continue reading

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Autumn

As the last whisps of summer condense into the mists of autumn, Far horizons are obscure and sharp colours muted, Nights on the town become evenings round the fire, Rush and hurry becomes slow and simple, Time to take things … Continue reading

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