Better To Be Measuring Heads Than Breaking Them

[This is a little flash fiction written on the premise that a previously discredited scientific theory had in fact been proven right…]


Hanging on the telephone again.

Come on, come on.


Ahhh. Hello – is that Ms Lavery?

This is constable Gall from the police phrenometrics division.

No ma’am, it’s nothing to be concerned about. Routine screening has shown a propensity for acquisitiveness and aggression in your son.

Yes ma’am. I am talking about possible criminal behaviour.

No, no, not at all. It’s really nothing to worry about. We just need to make an appointment to take a psychograph reading to verify the initial screening . Would tomorrow morning be possible?

No ma’am. It’s a very simple process and will only take a few minutes.

Yes ma’am. It is essential I’m afraid.

Thank-you ma’am. We’ll see you tomorrow at ten A.M.

Sigh! After all these years, a policeman’s lot is still not a happy one. No matter how far phrenology research brings us there will always be those people who just have to complain.

“Oh no you must be wrong.”

“Surely not my child.”

And then even worse are those that accuse us of sculpting in “obedience to the state” along with repairing antisocial behaviours. Honestly. Do they think that if we were doing that we wouldn’t just smooth out conspiracy theories as well? Still at least we all agree that the outmoded approach of wait for a crime to be committed then lock up the perpetrator is a totally neolithic approach.

Still, at least I can feel happy in my work. Every cranium smoothed is a cranium saved in my book and that’s really all that matters to me.

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